All or Nothing

I am a recovering Blackberry addict. How do I know this?
I went the past week without my blackberry and to my surprise it did not make me fret, it made me happy! I was free and I simply enjoyed the company of loved ones.
Once I got back on my own turf though I got right back to switching everything on. I reconnected my 4 different email addresses, my blackberry messenger and my twitter account. I set up my facebook account, I made sure I could still receive all my News updates...you get the point.
Yes, I can do without these for a while but...I mean...if I am paying for the service I might as well get the whole package right? Lol
If one of these had failed to work, I *might* have been pretty frustrated.

I am a loyal friend.
I tell you what I think you should do, then I back out.
I stay right behind the curtains so when something goes wrong I'm right back there, lending my shoulder, handkerchief and heart.
I will never forget your birthday, I will send you a card if you're feeling down - and maybe some Indomie and plantain chips.
For me friendship is a total package. You become my sister, my confidant, my friend.

I believe you either go hard or go home.
Somehow I think God believes the same thing. See He did not create you just so you give Him the remnants -
5 minutes before you fall asleep
5 verses of the Bible a day
A short prayer before meals
2 hours in Church on Sunday
Just a smile to a homeless person.
No, he wants you, flaws and all. Do you know when praying soothes me the most? When I go to God and cry and tell Him what I am too ashamed to tell any other person. When I sniff through a conversation, let Him hold me then send me back to bed. I don't give Him just the happy parts, just the thanksgiving or my Sunday best.
I strive to give Him EVERY BIT of this Princess, because He wants me when I am down, grumpy, giddy, sad, happy, successful, poor, emotional, whatever. When He has all of you it is easier for Him to mold you into the person you were created to be.

I hope this song drives the point home. I tried to find the finished song that I have on my laptop, but I could only find a live recording!
Lots of love xoxo

Springggg Breakkk

Hey guys!
Just got back from Spring Break. Instead of being grateful for journey mercies and for a beautiful trip, I am in a very blah mood. I hadn't seen my friends in 2 years anD when I finally saw them it was BEAUTIFUL! Honestly after my immediate family, my high school family is next. It's funny cuz we did not even do all the things people think you usually need to do to have a good time - no partying or drinking or any of that. But it was so chilled! And their weather that is usually very crappy was good...someone must have told Mother Nature I was coming, hehe.
Anyway since yesterday I was pretty sad, I really did not want to leave. This morning I was about to cry but I was like nah man I'm a bigss gyel! Lol. As expected I've already looked up ticket prices for a return date.
- If you have friends in your life that you visit just because you want to build memories, thank God.
- If you have friends who do not make you take a cab from the airport, thank God.
- If you have friends who do not make you pay for anything when you get to their city, thank God **it's a recession yo!**
- If you have friends whose friends love you before they even meet you because you are their friend's friend, thank God.
- If you have friends whose clothes and shoes and jewelry you acquire *cough* thank
God.
- If you have friends who you KNOW will be in your life forever, thank God.
- If you have friends who tell you to stop talking to that guy no matter what...or tell you to give this fellow a chance, thank God.
- If you have friends whose older brother makes you feel like a little sister and very much protected, thank God.
- If you have friends who do your hair for free, thank God *woooot! woooot!* haha!
- If you have friends who keep you up till 6am and all you do is gist about any and everything, thank God.
- If you have friends who bring out the best in you and teach you that it is good to have a social life, but it is even more important to be focused and to be the best in whatever you put your mind to, thank God.

My friend asked me why my BBM status was sad and when I told her it was because I did not want to come back to school, she said smile, Jesus loves you.
Soooo I am going to smile because I have these friends, and Jesus knew what He was doing when He brought them into my life and this way, I will cherish what I have - the weekends we spend together, the trips, the birthdays and milestones we witness in each other's lives, ALL OF IT.

On another note we have roughly 5/6 weeks left in the semester, time to throw everything I have into it. I am still not sure what I am doing this Summer - surprisingly I am not fretting too much...*bites nails*
I turned in a couple of applications over the break, I'm gonna sort out a few more before the weekend ends, then sit back and wait for God to open the doors that should be open and close the doors that should be closed.

Between, do you guys ever feel like some laws in the old Testament do not apply to you? It's kind of selective memory, we choose to remember what we want to remember until God directly points it out. I finally got to meet this guy I had heard much about. He is friends with a bunch of my really good friends. He is Christian, he's foineee, and he's really nice. I'm so sure he sees me more as a little sister than anything else, but sometimes I kept thinking hmm what if he was my significant other? Don't worry it was not a crush or anything, I just went off on one of those thinking sprees. The caveat? He has a girlfriend who is sooo nice! I've only met her once though and she's so gorgeous! That's the main reason he is off limits, lol.
When I left the airport today I was thinking about him and a Bible verse just popped
into my head..."Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's wife, house, land, manservant, maidservant, ox, donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
I was just like okay Lord, I get the point. Way to kill that dream. When we think it is nothing major, like Ahab coveting Naboth's vineyard, think back to the little things in your life. Devil starts by sowing a seed, next thing you will flirt with someone that is not your 'property' to start with, then comes lust, and we know how the story goes. Please let's not go into this whole game of not blaming the other woman, but laying all the blame at the feet of the man who cheats on his girlfriend or wife. If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you - believe that. So whatever it is, nip it in the bud, it's ALWAYS easier!
Lots of love, and I hope your weather is as good as mine in this city! Summer is finally rearing its head! :-) xoxo

Lots of Love Layla

There have been very few times I have felt like my heart was literally breaking.
- The months after December 2005. Missing my friends that went to heaven without saying goodbye.
- Lagos. Summer 2006. A very run down orphanage with children who were out of the ordinary, to put it mildly. Their pictures are grafted in my memory forever.
- January 2010. Seeing pictures of all the suffering in Haiti after the earthquake.
- March 2010. Hearing stories of the crisis in Jos, Nigeria. I have been too much of a coward to look at pictures. I saw 2 and my friend described one to me. The description alone made me cry.
- Reading up on Layla Grace. A 2 year old girl who died of cancer on March 9th 2010.
I finally looked at pictures of little Layla before she died, with all her hair gone, playing in the water. It felt like someone was smashing the pieces of my heart.

Today, as soon as you get a chance, tell your Mother/Father/Sister/Brother/Best friend you love them.
Tomorrow is not promised, as cliched as this may sound, especially in today's World.
But most especially, tell Jesus you love Him - because He first loved you.

I am going to attempt to get back to studying and quit complaining about the fact that I am not in the mood for this all-nighter I might have to pull.
Or the fact that I just want Spring break to be here already.
Instead I will be grateful. You know why? Because Jesus loves me, this I know.
I am blessed with the best family ever.
I know what it means to be a friend and I have friends I would trust with the life of my baby brother - that says a lot.
Lots of Love, Princess

Dear Diary

Hey blog fam!
I've had a very lazy day! Didn't wake up till almost noon. I just finished the book of Romans and one of my friends and I are reading the book of Corinthians. I only read one chapter but there was so much to learn, I kept highlighting, lol.
After that I was sooo hungry then I remembered I was out of groceries. I hardly go grocery shopping because I live in the city so walking back to mine with bags is not really my thing. Also it's been really windy so I only leave my apartment if I have to.
Anyway, I whipped up something then settled down to watch a movie. Can you believe I'd never seen Love and Basketball?
I liked it ~ but maybe I expected much more from it. Oh well, 2 hours of my life gone, can't get those back so I won't complain.
Attempted to read this semi-boring book for my Anthropology class, got distracted because my Mummy called - every day I love her more. Is that even possible? :)
So it's 6pm and I still have not cooked or bought groceries. My friend brought me dinner though, grilled cheese sandwich and wings. To make my diet feel better, I drank water instead of juice! ;)
Watched one episode of Gossip Girl - those writers have really lost the plot!
And here I am, blogging!
You are probably wondering why I am telling you all about my day instead of writing something uplifting or funny or whatever. Well I just remembered this song I loved it in High School and it had a special meaning for me. There was this one guy. We had a thing for years but I guess we were both too proud or whatever. ANYWAY, long story short, in his SS3 when I thought he had finally got the balls to make a 'solid move', lol, he started talking to this other girl who was my friend. They ended up dating and he went with her to prom. He was a year above me so I still had time in school after he graduated but it hurt. I never really talked about it with anyone. The Christmas holiday after he graduated he called me and told me he did not really like her and after I graduate he wants to be with me and blah. Are you kidding doe? I was annoyed but inside I was happy. It was like an Aha! moment. Lol so for me that song was a bit encouraging - babe I'll break up with her and come for you. Stupid me. Now I know any guy that really wants you will stop at nothing until he has you. And whatever will be will be. He did ask me out a bunch of times after that but I turned him down because I could see the end. I believe that if I can see a relationship ending after a year or so, then what's the point? Like I am not interested in dating for dating sake. So yea, that is that story. I wanted to write this in a diary and reminisce a bit instead of blogging about it but I only have a journal. I mean that would do, but I like to use that for when the Holy Spirit speaks to me. And then I thought of getting a new blog that would just be a dairy but I don't know how I feel about having my business on the Internet, EVERYDAY!
So here I am, telling you guys about silly secondary school crush.

"Young love - full of promise, full of hope, ignorant of reality".

Fear

**Have you ever lost a loved one, who you thought should still be here? Do you know what it feels like, to be tangled up in fear?**

That was the part of this song that caught my attention. Not as often as before but these days, at least once a week I remember some people I lost who it feels should definitely still be here - I remember them in the roles they would have been playing and the places I imagined they'd be today, and then I give it all to God and say Daddy, let your will be done, help me accept it and keep me strong till I see them again.
Sometimes that is not enough to stop the fear. For instance, I am no longer scared of being in a plane crash, but I am scared everytime a loved one has to fly. It is almost a certain kind of paranoia for my family members, but it is almost as bad for my friends. This is wrong and I KNOW this is not what God intended for me. 2 Timothy 1:7 says: "For God has not given us a Spirit of fear but of power, of love and of a sound mind.
What I love most about that verse is the power!
I mentioned a conference I went for this weekend - the power of the Holy Spirit. Like, WOW! I have never been so aware of it in my life. It was like we all forgot the devil even existed. See what we do not understand as Christians is Jesus ALREADY fought the battle, He already defeated the devil and took the key from him. We are FREE. Free to speak to that mountain move, and it will move. Free to succeed. Free to be healed. Free to overcome principalities and powers because of the Spirit in us. Free to live!
Yet we let the devil keep us in fear. I am re-reading one of my favorite books, This Present Darkness. I read it 2 years ago and I was a bit scared but it made me aware of the power of prayer. When I started it this time I thought I was going to get scared all over again because it makes you so aware of the fact that there are evil powers out there, but I remembered that I am already an overcomer, and that was what happened this weekend at the conference. ALL Focus was on God's power. His healing power, His love, the way He soothes me, all that good stuff. Like I am more confident in my Christianity and the resources Jesus has given me. The truth is the devil is already under my feet. He only has as much power as I give him.

So tomorrow, let yourself fall. I promise God will catch you. If He does not, He'll give you a parachute to help you land, if He does not, He'll be right there to put the pieces together when it seems all is broken. But remember that you are only able to see tomorrow because He has hope in what you can do for that new day. It's like everyday He gives us new slates to start on, a new page to rewrite the mistakes of yesterday. Don't let fear keep you from pressing on and don't give the devil a title he does not even own.

"The devil is the only 'king' who does not have the keys to his 'palace'. My Master has them" :)

Conference + Filtering

Hi guys!
Sorry I haven't blogged in a bit. I started two separate posts on Love and Patience, but, well, I got side tracked! I'll definitely get to those asap. In the mean time, we've been snowed in since last weekend. At first it was fun with no school and all, now I'm just tired o jare. Now all the school work slated for this week will be moved to next week. Bring on the all nighters. *sigh
On a brighter note, I'm sooo excited for this weekend. Have a conference I've been looking forward to since forever and it starts Friday. I really can't wait. I NEED to be filled anew by the Holy Spirit. Need some of that new anointing and fire =)
If you're snowed in, be safe and don't go outside unless you have to (I sound like my Dad, lol)
Also an idle man is the devil's workshop, so use your time wisely but most importantly, remember to filter what you take in. I realized that these days I visit celebrity gossip websites/blogs a bit too much. Not even just those but the news for instance. I read the news A LOT. Sometimes though I spend too long on a particular website reading everything. Yes, I believe that no knowledge is ever wasted, but when all of this information overload replaces the Bible verses I learnt as a child and all that good stuff, then we have a problem.
1 Corinthians 10:23 says --> Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Another version puts it this way, "All things are lawful, but not all things are expedient".
So be careful little eyes what you see, ears what you hear, mouth what you say, hands what you touch, (you get the point), for your Father up in heaven is looking down on you.
Love xxx

Shivers

Hiii guys,
My 2nd blog entry in one week, I am making progress, *hehe
This is not really an entry. I was worshipping and I got goosebumps. God is sooo awesome. If you're reading this give Him a wiper. I can't hold it in, I just have to share.
Today He led me to Revelations 3:8 which says "I know your deeds. See I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name".
Yesterday I had such little strength, and I almost slept with anger. I was frustrated and spent. This morning He woke me up with His promises!!
Listen to this song. Hopefully it'll give you shivers too!