All or Nothing

I am a recovering Blackberry addict. How do I know this?
I went the past week without my blackberry and to my surprise it did not make me fret, it made me happy! I was free and I simply enjoyed the company of loved ones.
Once I got back on my own turf though I got right back to switching everything on. I reconnected my 4 different email addresses, my blackberry messenger and my twitter account. I set up my facebook account, I made sure I could still receive all my News updates...you get the point.
Yes, I can do without these for a while but...I mean...if I am paying for the service I might as well get the whole package right? Lol
If one of these had failed to work, I *might* have been pretty frustrated.

I am a loyal friend.
I tell you what I think you should do, then I back out.
I stay right behind the curtains so when something goes wrong I'm right back there, lending my shoulder, handkerchief and heart.
I will never forget your birthday, I will send you a card if you're feeling down - and maybe some Indomie and plantain chips.
For me friendship is a total package. You become my sister, my confidant, my friend.

I believe you either go hard or go home.
Somehow I think God believes the same thing. See He did not create you just so you give Him the remnants -
5 minutes before you fall asleep
5 verses of the Bible a day
A short prayer before meals
2 hours in Church on Sunday
Just a smile to a homeless person.
No, he wants you, flaws and all. Do you know when praying soothes me the most? When I go to God and cry and tell Him what I am too ashamed to tell any other person. When I sniff through a conversation, let Him hold me then send me back to bed. I don't give Him just the happy parts, just the thanksgiving or my Sunday best.
I strive to give Him EVERY BIT of this Princess, because He wants me when I am down, grumpy, giddy, sad, happy, successful, poor, emotional, whatever. When He has all of you it is easier for Him to mold you into the person you were created to be.

I hope this song drives the point home. I tried to find the finished song that I have on my laptop, but I could only find a live recording!
Lots of love xoxo

Springggg Breakkk

Hey guys!
Just got back from Spring Break. Instead of being grateful for journey mercies and for a beautiful trip, I am in a very blah mood. I hadn't seen my friends in 2 years anD when I finally saw them it was BEAUTIFUL! Honestly after my immediate family, my high school family is next. It's funny cuz we did not even do all the things people think you usually need to do to have a good time - no partying or drinking or any of that. But it was so chilled! And their weather that is usually very crappy was good...someone must have told Mother Nature I was coming, hehe.
Anyway since yesterday I was pretty sad, I really did not want to leave. This morning I was about to cry but I was like nah man I'm a bigss gyel! Lol. As expected I've already looked up ticket prices for a return date.
- If you have friends in your life that you visit just because you want to build memories, thank God.
- If you have friends who do not make you take a cab from the airport, thank God.
- If you have friends who do not make you pay for anything when you get to their city, thank God **it's a recession yo!**
- If you have friends whose friends love you before they even meet you because you are their friend's friend, thank God.
- If you have friends whose clothes and shoes and jewelry you acquire *cough* thank
God.
- If you have friends who you KNOW will be in your life forever, thank God.
- If you have friends who tell you to stop talking to that guy no matter what...or tell you to give this fellow a chance, thank God.
- If you have friends whose older brother makes you feel like a little sister and very much protected, thank God.
- If you have friends who do your hair for free, thank God *woooot! woooot!* haha!
- If you have friends who keep you up till 6am and all you do is gist about any and everything, thank God.
- If you have friends who bring out the best in you and teach you that it is good to have a social life, but it is even more important to be focused and to be the best in whatever you put your mind to, thank God.

My friend asked me why my BBM status was sad and when I told her it was because I did not want to come back to school, she said smile, Jesus loves you.
Soooo I am going to smile because I have these friends, and Jesus knew what He was doing when He brought them into my life and this way, I will cherish what I have - the weekends we spend together, the trips, the birthdays and milestones we witness in each other's lives, ALL OF IT.

On another note we have roughly 5/6 weeks left in the semester, time to throw everything I have into it. I am still not sure what I am doing this Summer - surprisingly I am not fretting too much...*bites nails*
I turned in a couple of applications over the break, I'm gonna sort out a few more before the weekend ends, then sit back and wait for God to open the doors that should be open and close the doors that should be closed.

Between, do you guys ever feel like some laws in the old Testament do not apply to you? It's kind of selective memory, we choose to remember what we want to remember until God directly points it out. I finally got to meet this guy I had heard much about. He is friends with a bunch of my really good friends. He is Christian, he's foineee, and he's really nice. I'm so sure he sees me more as a little sister than anything else, but sometimes I kept thinking hmm what if he was my significant other? Don't worry it was not a crush or anything, I just went off on one of those thinking sprees. The caveat? He has a girlfriend who is sooo nice! I've only met her once though and she's so gorgeous! That's the main reason he is off limits, lol.
When I left the airport today I was thinking about him and a Bible verse just popped
into my head..."Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's wife, house, land, manservant, maidservant, ox, donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
I was just like okay Lord, I get the point. Way to kill that dream. When we think it is nothing major, like Ahab coveting Naboth's vineyard, think back to the little things in your life. Devil starts by sowing a seed, next thing you will flirt with someone that is not your 'property' to start with, then comes lust, and we know how the story goes. Please let's not go into this whole game of not blaming the other woman, but laying all the blame at the feet of the man who cheats on his girlfriend or wife. If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you - believe that. So whatever it is, nip it in the bud, it's ALWAYS easier!
Lots of love, and I hope your weather is as good as mine in this city! Summer is finally rearing its head! :-) xoxo

Lots of Love Layla

There have been very few times I have felt like my heart was literally breaking.
- The months after December 2005. Missing my friends that went to heaven without saying goodbye.
- Lagos. Summer 2006. A very run down orphanage with children who were out of the ordinary, to put it mildly. Their pictures are grafted in my memory forever.
- January 2010. Seeing pictures of all the suffering in Haiti after the earthquake.
- March 2010. Hearing stories of the crisis in Jos, Nigeria. I have been too much of a coward to look at pictures. I saw 2 and my friend described one to me. The description alone made me cry.
- Reading up on Layla Grace. A 2 year old girl who died of cancer on March 9th 2010.
I finally looked at pictures of little Layla before she died, with all her hair gone, playing in the water. It felt like someone was smashing the pieces of my heart.

Today, as soon as you get a chance, tell your Mother/Father/Sister/Brother/Best friend you love them.
Tomorrow is not promised, as cliched as this may sound, especially in today's World.
But most especially, tell Jesus you love Him - because He first loved you.

I am going to attempt to get back to studying and quit complaining about the fact that I am not in the mood for this all-nighter I might have to pull.
Or the fact that I just want Spring break to be here already.
Instead I will be grateful. You know why? Because Jesus loves me, this I know.
I am blessed with the best family ever.
I know what it means to be a friend and I have friends I would trust with the life of my baby brother - that says a lot.
Lots of Love, Princess