Saturday, February 27, 2010

Dear Diary

Hey blog fam!
I've had a very lazy day! Didn't wake up till almost noon. I just finished the book of Romans and one of my friends and I are reading the book of Corinthians. I only read one chapter but there was so much to learn, I kept highlighting, lol.
After that I was sooo hungry then I remembered I was out of groceries. I hardly go grocery shopping because I live in the city so walking back to mine with bags is not really my thing. Also it's been really windy so I only leave my apartment if I have to.
Anyway, I whipped up something then settled down to watch a movie. Can you believe I'd never seen Love and Basketball?
I liked it ~ but maybe I expected much more from it. Oh well, 2 hours of my life gone, can't get those back so I won't complain.
Attempted to read this semi-boring book for my Anthropology class, got distracted because my Mummy called - every day I love her more. Is that even possible? :)
So it's 6pm and I still have not cooked or bought groceries. My friend brought me dinner though, grilled cheese sandwich and wings. To make my diet feel better, I drank water instead of juice! ;)
Watched one episode of Gossip Girl - those writers have really lost the plot!
And here I am, blogging!
You are probably wondering why I am telling you all about my day instead of writing something uplifting or funny or whatever. Well I just remembered this song I loved it in High School and it had a special meaning for me. There was this one guy. We had a thing for years but I guess we were both too proud or whatever. ANYWAY, long story short, in his SS3 when I thought he had finally got the balls to make a 'solid move', lol, he started talking to this other girl who was my friend. They ended up dating and he went with her to prom. He was a year above me so I still had time in school after he graduated but it hurt. I never really talked about it with anyone. The Christmas holiday after he graduated he called me and told me he did not really like her and after I graduate he wants to be with me and blah. Are you kidding doe? I was annoyed but inside I was happy. It was like an Aha! moment. Lol so for me that song was a bit encouraging - babe I'll break up with her and come for you. Stupid me. Now I know any guy that really wants you will stop at nothing until he has you. And whatever will be will be. He did ask me out a bunch of times after that but I turned him down because I could see the end. I believe that if I can see a relationship ending after a year or so, then what's the point? Like I am not interested in dating for dating sake. So yea, that is that story. I wanted to write this in a diary and reminisce a bit instead of blogging about it but I only have a journal. I mean that would do, but I like to use that for when the Holy Spirit speaks to me. And then I thought of getting a new blog that would just be a dairy but I don't know how I feel about having my business on the Internet, EVERYDAY!
So here I am, telling you guys about silly secondary school crush.

"Young love - full of promise, full of hope, ignorant of reality".

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


**Have you ever lost a loved one, who you thought should still be here? Do you know what it feels like, to be tangled up in fear?**

That was the part of this song that caught my attention. Not as often as before but these days, at least once a week I remember some people I lost who it feels should definitely still be here - I remember them in the roles they would have been playing and the places I imagined they'd be today, and then I give it all to God and say Daddy, let your will be done, help me accept it and keep me strong till I see them again.
Sometimes that is not enough to stop the fear. For instance, I am no longer scared of being in a plane crash, but I am scared everytime a loved one has to fly. It is almost a certain kind of paranoia for my family members, but it is almost as bad for my friends. This is wrong and I KNOW this is not what God intended for me. 2 Timothy 1:7 says: "For God has not given us a Spirit of fear but of power, of love and of a sound mind.
What I love most about that verse is the power!
I mentioned a conference I went for this weekend - the power of the Holy Spirit. Like, WOW! I have never been so aware of it in my life. It was like we all forgot the devil even existed. See what we do not understand as Christians is Jesus ALREADY fought the battle, He already defeated the devil and took the key from him. We are FREE. Free to speak to that mountain move, and it will move. Free to succeed. Free to be healed. Free to overcome principalities and powers because of the Spirit in us. Free to live!
Yet we let the devil keep us in fear. I am re-reading one of my favorite books, This Present Darkness. I read it 2 years ago and I was a bit scared but it made me aware of the power of prayer. When I started it this time I thought I was going to get scared all over again because it makes you so aware of the fact that there are evil powers out there, but I remembered that I am already an overcomer, and that was what happened this weekend at the conference. ALL Focus was on God's power. His healing power, His love, the way He soothes me, all that good stuff. Like I am more confident in my Christianity and the resources Jesus has given me. The truth is the devil is already under my feet. He only has as much power as I give him.

So tomorrow, let yourself fall. I promise God will catch you. If He does not, He'll give you a parachute to help you land, if He does not, He'll be right there to put the pieces together when it seems all is broken. But remember that you are only able to see tomorrow because He has hope in what you can do for that new day. It's like everyday He gives us new slates to start on, a new page to rewrite the mistakes of yesterday. Don't let fear keep you from pressing on and don't give the devil a title he does not even own.

"The devil is the only 'king' who does not have the keys to his 'palace'. My Master has them" :)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Conference + Filtering

Hi guys!
Sorry I haven't blogged in a bit. I started two separate posts on Love and Patience, but, well, I got side tracked! I'll definitely get to those asap. In the mean time, we've been snowed in since last weekend. At first it was fun with no school and all, now I'm just tired o jare. Now all the school work slated for this week will be moved to next week. Bring on the all nighters. *sigh
On a brighter note, I'm sooo excited for this weekend. Have a conference I've been looking forward to since forever and it starts Friday. I really can't wait. I NEED to be filled anew by the Holy Spirit. Need some of that new anointing and fire =)
If you're snowed in, be safe and don't go outside unless you have to (I sound like my Dad, lol)
Also an idle man is the devil's workshop, so use your time wisely but most importantly, remember to filter what you take in. I realized that these days I visit celebrity gossip websites/blogs a bit too much. Not even just those but the news for instance. I read the news A LOT. Sometimes though I spend too long on a particular website reading everything. Yes, I believe that no knowledge is ever wasted, but when all of this information overload replaces the Bible verses I learnt as a child and all that good stuff, then we have a problem.
1 Corinthians 10:23 says --> Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Another version puts it this way, "All things are lawful, but not all things are expedient".
So be careful little eyes what you see, ears what you hear, mouth what you say, hands what you touch, (you get the point), for your Father up in heaven is looking down on you.
Love xxx