Friday, April 24, 2009

I remember

I used to call myself a procrastinator...but I don't say that anymore because even though I still wait before I do certain things, there is power in the tongue.
I have a quiz in four hours and I really am not ready. Do you know what I'm doing instead? Feeling bad for myself. And heaven helps those who help themselves right?
I decided to listen to a bit of Christian music and the first thing I chose was Cece Winan's Comforter
I think sometimes I just like to make myself sad. I really want to be a child again (but that's a post for another day) because isn't it true that as you grow older, whenever something sad happens you find yourself remembering every other sad thing that has happened over the course of your life?
Well I immediately went to my pictures and started staring at a picture of one of my friends who died in a plane crash over 3 years ago. But she's smiling in the picture so it did not feel right feeling sad. So I whipped out an old picture of a good friend and eventually boyfriend who was also on that crash and guessed it, that was when the tears started falling.
Sometimes I don't know if I'm still sad in terms of 'Why did they have to go?'
I just want to hear their voices one more time. Like Diddy said in Best Friend, 'I'd give anything to hear half your breath'
As I looked at the picture I remembered how soft his hands were, and my friends always told me I had baby hands so it was a pleasant shock knowing that his were only a little bit worse :)
I remembered how he used to write me short notes and poems and slip them into my locker during study hall *cheesy, I know*
I remember how I let him kiss me on my 15th took him a full minute to get over the shock that I actually said yes, hahah!
If you know me in real life, please don't worry too much for I am not sad
I only remember...sometimes all we want is as hug...or a smile...or someone to hold you so you can cry it all out *God knows I thought I had exhausted all my tears*...or someone to slap you so you snap out of it *it's been over 3 years dammit!*...or a teddy...or a blanket...or a cup of hot chocolate and a good movie...sometimes all we need is love.

xxx's and Jesus loves you

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Stand Up...xo

Psalm 139:16

...your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

It shocks me how we twist things that seem so obvious.
It especially shocks me coming from 'Christians'.
I use that word loosely because these days it is hard to tell the difference.
But that is a post for another day.
Today, this is about abortion.

Would you stand for it...if it's been over a month since you last saw red, yet it was 'just that one time'?
Would you stand for it...if you were raped?
Would you stand for it...if you were told there was a high probability your unborn child would have some defect or the other? Probability being the operative word...

Oh Father, please let me never be found wanting. Let me, like Job, praise your name, come rain or Sunshine.
I have always said that I would never support abortion.
Psalm 139:16 invalidates all the arguments of pro-choice'ers'. If the God who made heaven and Earth knows my life, even before I am born, who are you, oh human, to cut it short?

For the critics amongst you who say there is no God, let's look at this from a human point of view. Leave the creator out of this (pardon me Baba, just a second).
I would think there were enough stories on depression AFTER having the abortion. Try talking to someone who has gone through that ordeal. What makes you think you are different and immune to the feelings of guilt?
Or you are a strong believer of experience is the best teacher?
But there are so many other options. There are so many people, single and married who want a child of their own, and there are services to link you up with them? Why not give them a chance?
There are orphanages, who will actually take care of the child?
Your mother may be willing to take care of the child...if she stones you, don't blame me. I said 'may'
Why take the 'safer' route and kill? No point sugar-coating it, for that is what it is. Snuff, extinguish, all-join.
I believe that we should not do things for which we cannot face the consequences. If you wouldn't like the outcome, steer far, far away.
For how you make your bed, so shall you lie in it.

Maybe there are 2 sides to this coin? When do you think abortion is 'okay'? Is it at all okay? Or is it one of those 'under NO circumstances' issues? Feel free to give your reason, because I do not understand.

xxx's and Jesus loves you + your unborn child!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My Malties!!

Sooooo...scrap what I said yesterday about not wanting chocolate, I lied! *shy face*

My *friend* just sent me some after I rioted for him and you couldn't make me any happier than I already am even if you tried! :)
I am not exactly obsessed, but how can anyone NOT love white maltesers? *blank stare*
Save your speech about the number of calories, because I'm not even listening mate!
It's times like this I wonder if I should get back together with him and why I fronted oh so much back in the day, I use that term in the loosest sense because we were never 'officially' together, but we might as well have been, but whatever, a rant for another day, because I know I'll always have a soft spot for him, come rain or sunshine, and it's one of those things I'm done fighting.
But gyea, moral: I am no longer a sad bunny (well, not really, I'm still a tad bit upset) but at least now I have maltesers to see me through the rainy days, literally.
It's April and it's still raining and gloomy and cold! Only in Obodo Oyibo!
That aside, I just deactivated my facebook account, too distracting and I have too much work to get done. I'm also trying to discover myself. By that, I mean handle my problems on my own first before I offload on my friends, and the last thing I need is amebo enhancer numero uno aka Facebook.

xxx's and Jesus loves you!

Ps --> This isn't me trying to convince you to try these malties because The World + Maltesers sans you = more for me! *grin*

Monday, April 13, 2009

You know one of those days when everything seems to be going wrong?

--> I'm failing a class I'm supposed to be passing, like really! 

--> My CRACKBERRY has proved to be as abusive as they come. True to its nature, it has deleted ALL my call logs, texts, BBM convos, facebook notifications, ALL! 

--> I'm still trying to sort out my Summer plans, the one thing I really want to do might not work out as planned, I HAVEN'T SEEN MY BEST FRIEND SINCE APRIL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! 

--> Most of my friends are busy; okay that's unfair, they are all going through different things, from being in Nigeria for Easter break w terrible Internet access, to boy issues to Finals, but still...!

--> I find it harder and harder to study everyday

--> I am going through financial woes, honest!

--> I have a cold, I have a cough, when I wake up I can barely breathe and my chest hurts, the weather is okay but I'm still cold, and No, I am not taking medicine, I self-medicate thank you very much.

--> I want a bf :(
Like not particularly for all the physical stuff, but someone to buy me a teddy and a bracelet, that's all I want! I wouldn't know how to take care of flowers, they would just die, and seeing as I haven't kept to my April Resolution, I would not really accept chocolate. But I digress, bottom line, I miss having a bf! It's been a while since my last official one, they've just been random people. And maybe I'm picky, aren't we all?
But Mr Right will soon stop getting prayers from me, because he is taking his damn time! :(

--> Okay, I'm done.
Well not really, but I think I'm just going to listen to music and study for the next hour and hope I can count my blessings instead of being a sad bunny.

Like EASTER + our risen Lord + the joy of Family

xxx's and Jesus loves you!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Aldo = Fabulous-ity!

I am still slightly new to this, but I insist on putting up two more pictures!

I call Him + MY NEW SHOES!

I call you All that, your name is All that, you have been All that to meeeeeee :)

For some reason the song isn't complete on youtube, but you get the gist.
Do not be sensitive to all He did for us only during Easter season. Because everyday we turn our backs on His word and commands we spit on Him just as the soldiers for thought!

That aside, I HAVE A NEW PAIR OF SHOESSS! So I have LE best friendssss everrrrr! Care to peep a picture? Well I shall show you regardless as I pat myself on the back and gloat at your jealous expressions! *i kid, i kid*
Oh but I love themmmm, I 'kent' wait for an outing!
Done rambling, here you go!

Thoughful Good Friday, Happy Easter, and Beautiful weekend ahead to all of you!

xxx's, Jesus loves you and Aldo rocks

Monday, April 6, 2009

The Joy of the my strength

Faithful Lord and Father!

That's the song I'm listening to. If someone tells you my God does not answer prayers, DON'T believe! So I had been feeling down the past couple of weeks. Basically just doubting where I stand as a Christian and my work w Christ. There is a difference between Christianity as a facebook religious preference and Chrisitianity as an actual work w my Lord. Anyway, to cut a longgggg story short, now I am happy. I am at peace. I enjoy reading my Bible. No, not as the required devotional for the day, but because I want to remain in God's presence. In His presence, there is fullness of joy, right?
Well yes, my heart is FULL of joy, and it is all Jesus.
No, I am not a nun in training. I am just trying to build on my relationship w Jesus. I want something more personal, so this is me claiming my rights cuz guess what? He said as His child, I have rights! So some things are mine, like the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.
He said ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and the door shall be opened unto you. So this is me being happy. Not because of money. Not because of grades. Not because of a boyfriend.
But because my redeemer lives, and He lives in my heart.
I have Jesus.
I am willing to share Him.
Do you want Him too?
Oui? Non?

xxx's and Jesus loves meeee! :)

Friday, April 3, 2009

Dear Lord...

Come to me all you who thirst and are heavy laden and I will give you rest

That’s what You promised right? Well here I am, I have been crying out for Your touch, just one touch, for a while now Lord. All I want is to know that my heart is in tune with Yours. You know how You said David was a man after your own heart? Well yea, I just want something like that.
I’m not sure if I’m doing something wrong or there’s something in my heart that is like clutter or a packed garage that is keeping you out. But whatever it is, I WANT YOU BACK Baba.
And then I want your Holy Spirit. I want to sing this song and mean it:

People dey ask me say
Wetin dey make me smile
I just dey tell them say
Na Jesus dey make me smile

So I’m going to go for the Gethsemane experience tomorrow.
Will you be there Lord? No, I don’t mean will you be present because it says when 2 or 3 are gathered in your name you are there in their midst. I mean will you be there, as in next to me, inside of me, filling me?
Or should I be patient?

Just so you know, I will never let you go until you bless me, so all this is just…stalling for time? Time wasting? Je ne sais pas. But you know Lord, the plan you have for me, you know.

xxx's and Jesus loves you!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April 1st!
It's a New Day!
It's a New Month!
There are New blessings...and new resolutions.
So I've stopped believing in new year resolutions so much because the enthusiasm and drive to stick to them usually withers after a few weeks or months.
I woke up this morning at 6.30am (*gasp*...don't ask, I don't know how either) and decided to go to the gym because I felt bad. I was supposed to go the night before but I slept off *shy face*
ANWYAY yesterday I had a conversation with one of my friends about anorexia and the desire we have for weight loss (same old, same old). So I decided to get on the scale because, in her own words, "need to get numbers/figures down to like help the process". Olodo that I am, I assumed the scale was for everyone so I stepped on it this morning, 'to get numbers down'.
I can swear I almost woke my roommate up w the sharp intake of breath!
Ohmigosh! *in total Paris-Hilton-speak*
I would swear if I did but since I don't I can only scream yepa!
Yes, the journey to lose weight has begun (again). I shall go to the gym at least 5 times a week...SO HELP ME GOD!
Please remove your judgmental eyes, this is not a far fetched goal as I already exercise at least twice a week (in cardio class) and roughly twice on my own in the gym.
No, this isn't because I want to be model skinny, I am far from being fat. I just want the old days back! It's not wrong to want to be a fittie, non?

xxx's~Happy Gyming~and Jesus loves you!